windexwaker:

captain-jack-hardness:

i hate black girls

the sentence above is racist, but if you replace black girls with white girls you get a funny 1000+ note text post instead

fuck, its finally time someone pointed this out

sherwat:

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

Here in Australia you are the murderer

mediaite:

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Asks Atheist Tornado Survivor If She ‘Thanked The Lord’

goodbye, ponds

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I AGREE WITH THIS THEORY BUT IT’S STILL FUNNY

urinatings:

urinatings:

why do i own so many bananas

failnation:

So my mate got hold of my desktop

 WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY IN SPANISH

cuddlefeyrac:

au where gatsby and nick get married and gatsby’s vows are all addressed to old sport and when the preacher asks if he takes nicholas carraway to be his lawfully wedded husband, gatsby just stands there in confusion for a few minutes and eventually confesses that he has no idea who nicholas carraway is he’s here to marry old sport

teamnerdangel:

on-my-toes-for-you:

Greatest pick up of all time

I’VE LITERALLY BEEN WAITING FOR THIS GIF SET MY WHOLE LIFE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MANY TIMES I’VE USED THIS PICKUP LINE AND NOBODY UNDERSTOOD THE REFERENCE